Thursday, October 18, 2007

Blog Warming

Hola!

Inspite of a new blog warming, today seemed like a day for updates on semi-private life as promised in my old blog^_^

let's see..still in love with the same person, still best friends with the same person, still uses the same e-greeting card brand, still within the same compound, still has the same family, still has the same cat, still loves the beach, still cranky in the mornings, actually not so much anymore.. but yeah, those are probably the things that are still the same with me..the rest are whimsically changing from day to day..

i know i make decisions based on my fluctuating mood, and believe me, fluctuate is quite the right word to use, but i am not un-determined with certain things.. i do admit not with all things, but definitely with particular things that are important to me despite the magnitude. i may be whimsical with most trivial things and may even seem indecisive from time to time, but i find myself strong-willed with certain things. do not be anal and mistake this as a self-proclamation or in plainer words, 'muka tak malu puji diri-sendiri'. think of it as self-appraisal or self-evaluation at a certain level.i since the beginning of writing this blog, i came to realise something.

this took place after remembering a series of events that happened not too long ago. so, everyone who reads should know about the documentary-made-into-a-book titled 'The Secret'. and i have always wondered about that book and made several mental notes to get my hands on it. however, i did not care much for self-help books as i am a little too stubborn to let a book change my perception about things especially philosophies. and then one day when i came across that book with Kuhan, i said;

"Ah,i always wanted to read that book. Apparently it's got some really good reviews. What's it about though?"

Kuhan replied, "Yeah, it's really good. It's about a way that helps you to achieve your dreams and so forth."

"So...it's a self-help book then? I think they're dumb la. If a mere book can actually change your perceptions of life, you probably didn't have a strong opinion on your own direction in life to begin with anyways. I can actually learn more from novels. Do you really think this book will actually help me?" I stiffly asked.

And the conversation melted into another unrelated topic though most probably related to what we're going to eat, again.

***

Then came another visit to the bookstore and the same questions were mentioned. This time, it went on like this;

" Well, you should try reading it first though. But I think you'd probably think it's dumb or something"

"Dumb? Why would I think it's dumb if it's as good as it's reviews?" I had completely forgotten I once related 'The Secret' as a self-help book and apparently so did Kuhan.

"Because you wouldn't be able let it, you know, guide you. It's a book that works only if you are willing to change how you think in life." Kuhan replied.

" Change how I think in life? How exactly?" my eyebrows raised instinctively.

" You have to start thinking positively in everything you do,for one." Kuhan said quite simply.

"Riiiggghhhttt. Like I've never heard that before."

"Told you you'd find it dumb."

***

and so, i was squeezing ponders about this in my head when i am able to and came to realise something. Books started off as a a translation of thoughts into writings and/or drawings, mostly to do with information. They are used to store what the mind may fail to remember in the future. Then slowly, books were made to educate as it was more timeless-ly dense in information than a mere mortals' brain could ever be. It could be the joined brain power of the most intelligent people in the world, enough to plan and execute world domination/destruction in 24 hours. How then can a book ever be dumb? How was that possible allowed? When a page could be filled with information far beyond the human brain, how, then, should one book be more informative than the other?

Then i knew, that it was never about the quality of the book, but the reader's own brain capacity that either allowed the inevitable transfer of knowledge from book to mind or to allow ignorance to self-satisfy. I was sadly mistaken, to think i was above books, above any book, any source of precious information denied from me due to my ignorance. I over-indulged in my own sense of creativity that anything wordy was deemed less informative than sound, than colour, than touch, than experience. On the bright side, this only enforces my philosophy of balance.

Undoubtedly, I have much to discover, much more to live. I may often be impatient to take on the world, but every step ahead is an achievement to me.