back from the dead

hi, i'm back from the dead with a few words in mind;

Wasted Phrases


You broke your fingers trying to tear out your broken heart

While you photosyntesized in my glow

Where does the horizontal and vertical clouds meet?

The secret lovechild of Passion and Sin

Whose fingers gripped onto the chords of my hamstring

Oh lashes to lashes, lust to lust

Take this ride on my rocket full of posies

To only be knifed by your smile

~

Climbing your way into the warmth of my embrace

Your so far up, to experience a crash from that altitude would be too easy

Like Humpty Dumpty, broken and leaking you life away on the ground

I'll make you watch as all the king's horses turned their heel

So when the time comes for me to bleed my sins into your pillow

I'll remember your tongue tasting sweet like camomile

Remember how I always enjoy making you battle my games

While your eyes perpetually grow hungry for the lights

I will pick out the colour from your eyes

And I will understand the meaning of your destruction

Salvador Dali

When I was much younger, perhaps a little over 7, I had quite a complete collection of Disney Encyclopedia for Kids. It was quite a fad in the 90s, every other kid had this collection. So, before I developed my love for reading, I started with my love for looking at pictures. Visual images could completely catch my attention and I could actually stare at it for a long time and let my imagination have a run (known later on in life as 'stoning').

There was a painting that I remember in one of these encyclopedia books and ever since I set my eyes on them, I never could really forget the impact I felt. As a kid, I probably thought I was scared to see something so weird. But now, I could say I was more in awe. It had interpretations a 7 year old could never comprehend and I just sat there watching this painting imprinting itself in my mind. Quite fascinated, I did intentionally flip to the page where I could find this painting whenever I had a visual hunger.

Recently, this painting came back to haunt my memory. I was so curious about what the painting was about, who painted it, and why the hell was someone carrying a cross and fending off tall horses and elephants? It was annoying that I realize I may not be able to ever find my answers by googling "tall elephant paintings". Actually, if I googled "long legged elephant paintings" I may have found a link, but I didn't think of putting it that way. My mistake.

So then I had a pleasant conservation with Terence about art history and all. He told me everything he knew and the conversation lead to Salvador Dali, a surrealist at work and his famous paintings which included the long legged elephants. Then excitedly, I went, "Oh!! I've been looking for this person for a while!! How do i spell his name again?" Which lead to a series of online research and finally being able to look upon this painting once again after over a decade of ignorance.

Ladies and gentleman, shall I present to you the man that has been subconsciously looking for me all this time; Salvador Dali and his "Temptations of Saint Anthony", exactly how I remembered it to be over 10 years ago.

The Temptation Of Saint Anthony.

Salvador Dali

Dali's Signature

PS: When I saw the second picture, I went, "Omg! He likes cats too! We were so meant to be!"^_^

Careless Chapter 3

The Away Box

Entering the building, it was as if one was entering a great asylum of which was just hit by a massive outbreak of admittance due to a natural disaster. There were some people sitting around looking hurt, while there were others looking strangely transparent and slowly hovering along the corridors and the rooms, as if looking for something.

"Oh Lord, have mercy." exclaims Mother Goose. "Are they..."

"Yes, She's already extinguished some of us. Sometimes, they come back. Sometimes they don't." utters Ego. " I believe Conscience was one of the lucky ones who did. Unfortunately, I cannot say the same for Trust and Faith."

"Dear old Faith, I really liked Faith." says Conscience.

"I'm surprised She hasn't come for you again, Consy." expressed a tall dark figure standing against the wall with a hideous smile. Large shackles could be seen broken into the arms and the legs. A tired looking unsuccessful attempt to unchain the right shackle was also visible.

"Hello, Guilt. I see you have been well." says Mother Goose

"Of course, my dear. How else would dear old Consy here survive another fall if wasn't for me? I believe I have been useful, and if it wasn't for Ego, Trust would have been in her gardens pruning her rose bushes, isn't that right, Ego old friend?"

"Is that true Ego?" Mother Goose asks with a frown no one will ever forget.

"Necessary steps had to be taken. Trust was at fault for leading us to a resolution at the expense of many others! I merely saved the rest of us from becoming like Love. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, does it not, Guilt? But of course, I never expected you to be able to make that decision, not even for yourself!" argues Ego.

"Trust and Hope were the only ones keeping the lot of us from being extinguished! If She didn't get to us, we would have faded out ourselves without them! And with Trust gone, we have failed to find Hope's whereabouts!" spat Guilt.

"Hope lives, for now. But I cannot guarantee Hope's existence for much longer." Ego mentions without a pause.

Guilt then rushes forward and striking Ego in the face as both fall into a struggle.

Conscience screams.

"Children! Stop this at once!" screams Mother Goose.

Conscience held Guilt back while Naughtiness helped Ego up.

"I do not need your help, woman." says Ego as he pulls his arm away from Naught.

" That's enough, Ego! Your despicable struggle with Guilt will have to wait. I want to know what has happened to Love, immediately!" orders Mother Goose.

Just then, a strong cold gush of wind blasted along the corridor. Everyone had to crouch down to prevent falling over while covering their faces from protection from flying objects.

"What in God's name is happening now?!" yells Mother Goose at the top of her voice

"It's HER!" yells Guilt.

The strong wind turned into a squall which lasted for a short while before subsiding completely. Leaving the place in a mess of objects and people. It was then made obvious that Work was missing.

" Looks like She needed Work," noticed Ego. "or perhaps not."

"You better pray Work is not extinguished, Ego" threatens Guilt.

"Not everything is my fault, you know. But don't worry, Work was probably just called away. He'll be back in the ab." explains Ego.

" Now before the two of you go off into one of your insufferable scuffles, we should head to where Love is. I need to speak with Love urgently, before any of you gets called away or, God-forbid, extinguished!" exclaims Mother Goose while tidying her hair and dress.

"Why don't Naught lead the way this time?" says Ego with a sneaky smirk.

"Yes, let us go Naught. Come now, dear. I don't have all day!" says Mother Goose.

Naught wipes the hesitantly worried look on her face and proceeds without a word.


To be continued.

Careless Chapter 2

Chapter 2

So all 4 inner selves and Mother Goose enter this cave like opening , dark and hollow, and proceeded in quite a merry looking fashion when all of a sudden, they sunk, well more like dropped, into the ground. And if you were to look into what they dropped into, it would be like looking down from the top of a tunneling water slide that goes around. Except that it wasn't water that was causing the flow.
It was more of a stream-like looking bright turquoise flow of something not quite liquid or gas. And this flowed with much grace and gentleness , it actually looked like soft after-feathers constantly growing from the rachis, in an underwater-y way.

So this ride went on for a few minutes, quite comfortably as you may imagine. You could sit down and extend your elbows backwards into a lean while looking up into something shining but dark at the same time, and if I could ever put this shining object into simple words, it would be called, 'the dark side of the sun'.

Mother Goose was sitting down on her sideway-folded legs in a lady-on-a-Sunday-picnic-like way while Naught had her head on her lap chatting about something a mother and daughter might chat about on a Sunday picnic. Work was studying the substance they were riding on and wondered how this could contribute into forming ideas. Conscience was stroking the feathers and humming a praise and worship song while appreciating and being grateful for the comfortable ride. Ego was standing up and looking forward, hands folded, into the distance, looking rather moody and thoughtful.

Then, they all plopped into a standing position and proceeded walking without interruption, as if they weren't aware the ride had ended.

"Well, here we are."said Ego

There was a huge box looking building, having the same measuring characteristics as a standing closed book. Tall and slender on one side and wider on the other.

"So that's the ab then, is it? It doesn't look like a place where you inner selves might bee happy living in, if i say so myself!" said Mother Goose

"We have roomates." conscience innocently mentions. "Well sometimes, at least.

"That's...very nice, conscience darling." coos Mother Goose. "Right then, perhaps we should go in and say hi. It's getting a bit cold out here"

Ego lead the way.

To be continued....

Today's Commandment

Thou Shalt Follow The Links....
and doeth what the video info commands of you.

Emperor The Movie;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yp5d8pE7UPo

Unsecured Loan The Movie;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTA2KS348sU&feature=related

These are what we at The Factory have been working on, quite relentlessly:p
Support your local indie films!

Careless...

I don't really know what it is, exactly, but that's a way to describe how my moods have been these few days..Careless, not as in a klutz kinda careless..but more of the unconcerned negligent careless.. I do not have this urge to want.. Thus in short, I do not 'want'.. .want being the verb here..


I find that I have been indifferent to almost everything I use too care so much about... Individuals, physical needs, variety, colours, joy, comfort, least of all, things.. Everything seems to be fading somehow,even more now.. I do not wish for it to fade, but it just does despite my futile meek mental protests.. Everything is clouded by this haze of "lack" itself.. Well, everything but my work, which seems to be the only burning flame I have left in this often raining weather.. so the only thing left to do is to hold on to it like no other, because I cannot go on flameless, not now.. The funny thing is, this only thing keeping me sane is probably the very same thing that will cost me my sanity , if overdone..


Do you know what I mean?


Despite my deranged detachment from the side of me that consists most of my emotions, I continue to stay sane by working (this is easy due to the fact that I am highly passionate in my field).. but you get this feeling that if you continue to try to stay sane by working and working and working and it's the only thing you ever do, you, will, unfortunately, but, inevitably, break..
I know this, you know this, everybody knows this.. So what does one do about it?


'Well, first of all, you shouldn't have made 'work' your life line now, innit, you sorry ass excuse of insanity?'

...says my alter ego...


'Maybe, you need to find a way to rekindle your flames and find joy, and love and make up for all that you've lost and the people you left behind. This is not totally about you, it's also about the people around you.'

...says my diplomatic-idealistic-church-going conscience...


'You need to shut your pie-hole and get back to work!!!'

...says the newly-formed-perasan-workaholic-inner-nerd....


'I think you just need to get laid~~~'

....says the hedonistic naughtiness....


'How about everybody just shuts up, and let the poor dear let her feelings out however way she feels most comfortable in? She's obviously going through some things.'

...says Mother Goose....


'Mother Goose?? What are you doing in this mind???'

...exclaimes the hedonistic naughtyness...


'I, am here to help, obviously. Seems like the mess isn't going to clear itself up now is it? You aren't even trying to really help, Naught, and put on some pants, for God sakes!'

...Mother Goose collects them up and shoos them away with her thick British accent....

'Where's the rest?'


'....I think they're in the ab....'

says conscience


'Ab? What's that, then?'


'The 'Away Box'. She's made this compartment to put us all in and picks us up if she needs us at any time. She hardly ever comes to pick us up now. Some of us just barge into her face, it's really distracting, personally,I find.'

Mentions Work, while glaring at Naught ...


Naughtiness then turns and lifts her half buttoned down make shift pyjama that was obviously once a man's shirt right above her left but cheek and says,

' Find this, nerd!'

' Children, children! Let's just all go back to the ab then, I need to speak with all of you, however many you may be now. She really needs to stop making new habits and better the old! Really! How does she manage all of you barging in and out of her mind like that!

...Mother Goose then bustles them away from the frame ......


- To be perhaps continued..

absence....

here is my explanation for my absence and this really short post;

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=10304646778


busy busy busy!


Meanwhile, eveything's pretty fine with me:)

Ok, back to work!